Thinking About Changing the Game

When I started this blog I had visions of grandeur and a plan to post something ever day. That quickly went away, but I had set myself up for failure by not starting at the beginning of the year as scheduled. This time I want to be ahead of myself and set a goal to write something for this blog every day.

Yep, I’m planning to blog the 365 days of 2010. I’m setting this goal in part, because it’ll force me to write something unrelated to work at least once a day. The other part is because I want to push myself to write more and to prepare myself for other goals I have for the year.

Another thing that got me thinking was this concept of changing the game. See, Sarah Robinson (Escaping Mediocrity) asked me to contribute an article to a project she’s working on, a project about changing the game. It got me to thinking about everything I’ve learned this year and how every mistake is a hint that its time to change your game.

This year was full of changes for me and things in my world look very different from how they looked last year. I accomplished many of the things I had planned, but still, on others, I floundered. I learned that I can sometimes be very self-righteous and petulant. For all of my interpersonal skills, I sure do know how to put my foot (or digital footprint, as it were) in my mouth. I was also reminded that others do not usually see me with the same eyes through which I see myself.

It wasn’t until I decided to look within that I saw the solution staring me right in the face. It was time for me to change my game and change my own perspective. So I made up my mind that I was going to be happy and productive and be a positive ray of light, no matter how tough things got. With this in practice for all of a week–maybe two–I have already felt begun to feel more calm and contented.

I’ve also decided that I need to be more diligent in working my program and work toward some of my longer term goals. To wit, I declare that starting January 1, 2010, I will write for this blog at least once a day, for 365 days of the year.

I hope you’re in the ride. I imagine it could get interesting around here.

Tags: Changing the Game, Goal Setting, Introspection, Work/Life Balance

Employee Privacy and The Internet

How much of your private life can employers control? Well, truly, most jobs begin and end at the office (whatever form that office may take), and on a schedule. It would seem there is a new era in which employers are beginning to encroach on the private lives of their employees; using the Internet and social networking as a scope.

Its horrible to hear stories of people being fired from jobs because of pictures and/or comments left on their social networking profiles. What does having fun over the weekend have to do with a person being sober on Monday and able to get the job done? Prior to the advent of social networks, one could trip the light fantastic on their day off if they wanted, go into work refreshed and productive no one be be the wiser.

It was also almost two years ago that the “Drunken Pirate” was denied her teaching certification because her MySpace pictures represented errors in judgment, and still there has been no precedent set to draw a line between what part of your public online life should be taken into account for the purpose of employer evaluation.

Personally, I try to keep my image online as clean as possible, and make my privacy settings high. I consciously select the parts of my life that I want to make visible to the general public and those I prefer to keep private. I understand that I have to create a personal brand and while it might not squeak, I have no fear of my image causing damage to my reputation.

However, the fact still remains that employers should not be able to use the information about employee private lives available via the Internet. Except in the cases when people’s profiles expose criminal activity (stealing from their workplace), job related negligence (photos in restricted areas on military bases), and lying about being sick (posting dated party pics on a “sick day”)…those are fireable offenses and should be treated as such.

Having a few drinks during your personal time and taking silly pictures…eh…not so much. The line isn’t super thick, but it’s not all that thin either.

Tags: Business, Employee Rights, Internet, Technology, Work/Life Balance

Talk About a Day of R-n-R

While I like to be busy, I also enjoy the occasional lazy day, doing practically nothing. Literally. Not leaving the bed but for food and other…bodily functions. Truthfully, I need one of these days at least once a month, but especially when I’ve been sick for what seems like forever.

So this morning I decided I was going to exert as little energy as possible, because I want to feel better. But I couldn’t just sleep all day so I watched movies: Super Bad, The Other Boleyn Girl and Pan’s Labyrinth; which were all good in their own way.

Super Bad was definitely an awesomely bad, cult classic, coming of age, comedy of errors, staring the lovable losers. Cut and print. I had a few laughs, no desire to see it again.

The Other Boleyn Girl was yet another movie about Henry VIII and his wives, this time focusing on the family and how their ambition was both their downfall and a bittersweet victory.

Pan’s Labyrinth…now that movie was great. Fantasy mixed with realism; a beautiful allegory. It was thrilling and at times frighteningly cold, told in this illusory way, wrapped in an enthralling package…my heart was racing all the way through it and I want to watch again tomorrow.

So there you have it. My day in a nutshell. When was the last time you took a day to just relax?

Tags: 365 Project, Lazy Days, Work/Life Balance

Tripple “E” Challenge: Integrity

Well…when I meditated this morning on expressing, experiencing and enjoying integrity, I certainly didn’t expect that to mean I’d be leaving work early due to sickness.

Sometimes having integrity means realizing that you need to just take a break. And that’s what happened to me today…

I hate missing work, but if I don’t take care of myself, I’m no good to anyone.

So here’s to having the integrity to admit when I just can’t do it anymore, to understanding that healthy = more productive, and to getting back to full health before going back to work on Monday.

Tags: 365 Project, Health, Triple E Challenge, Work/Life Balance

Conference + Bum Knee = A Hard Damn Day

You all know by now that I’m hard on myself. I hate being sick, I hate not being able to do things…I am the Modern Super Human Earth Mother after all; obstacles be damned!

Well, sometimes it just isn’t that simple.

My knee collapsed as I was walking into the grocery store last Thursday. It hurt a little but I didn’t fall or anything, so kept it moving. The next day I was walking with a limp and my knee was definitely swollen. Saturday morning, I put my feet on the floor to take my morning pee and nearly fell; something was definitely wrong with my knee.

I spent the next couple of days laid up in the bed and on Monday I went to the Dr, where I was told that my joints looked good, there were no broken bones…my knee was just swollen and inflamed because it wanted to be. Oh, that’s just lovely. rolls eyes

The next day I was scheduled to work a conference. In hind sight, I probably should have asked if I could be excused from the conference and just gone into the office. Being the super woman I am, I was determined that I could handle this event.

And I probably could have if Murphy hadn’t been so set on kicking my ass.

When I arrived at the venue, the parking directly underneath was blocked off and I was directed to a structure nearly three blocks away. I parked and slowly began walking to back towards the entrance, all the while racking my brain trying to remember if the Long Beach Convention Center had elevators. I had been to the convention center many, many times and couldn’t for the life of me remember ever seeing an elevator, so I began working my way up the first set of stairs I could find.

I made it up the first and second flights triumphantly, only to be daunted by two more; one with at least 15 steps. I sat at the bottom of the third set and took a couple deep breaths before painstakingly inching my way up. Going up stairs had never been so hard…I was sweating and exhausted and still had one more flight of stairs to conquer.

Panting I stood there looking at the final set of stairs, my brain fighting itself…

You can do this…Shit I’m tired…Just one more flight and you’re there…This shit is so hard…You can do it!

I stood there for a few minutes trying to hold back the tears but I was feeling broken and the dam had reached its limit. The tears mixed with the sweat as I looked up the stairs feeling defeated. Folks began offering empathetic comments as they passed me on their way up the stairs.

“Well that hardly seems fair,” on guy remarked noting that the venue should have had an elevator.

“Do you need help,” said one woman, stopping to rub my back. I was simultaneously comforted and embarrassed.

“I think I’ll make it,” I said avoiding her eyes. “Its just so hard…”

She found my gaze, looking for some assurance that I was ok.

“I’ll be ok,” I said lying through my tears and pained expression. “I’m sorry.”

She rubbed my back a couple more seconds. “Don’t apologize, just take your time.” And then she was off.

Just as I worked up enough energy to make my way to the top of the final flight of stairs, another editor from the magazine showed up. It pained me to see the sympathy in her eyes, but I was glad for the company. She cheered me on all the way to the top and stayed with me as we walked into the venue, only to find we had to go up some more. At least this time there was an escalator…

When we arrived at the registration table, I was sweating profusely and unsuccessfully trying to put on a happy face.

“You shouldn’t have come,” said the guy running the event. “You look like you’re in an incredible amount of pain.”

I looked at the ground. “I would have been fine if I hadn’t had to climb the stairs,” I said with an uncomfortable giggle. My face flushed with heat as I felt the sympathetic stares of the staff on me.

He put his hand on my arm lightly, “Are you ok?”

“It was really hard…” and I turned away feeling naked as the tears fell once again. I dried them away quickly and took a seat, half hoping he would send me home, half wanting to be useful.

The rest of the day was spent sitting in the back of a ballroom watching presentations with my leg propped up on a chair. After the last session, I looked for someone to give me a ride to my car. Since everyone was still busy with conference duties, I made my way, resolved that I wouldn’t cry again. It took me nearly 30 minutes make a five minute walk, but I made it. Once I got into the car, I allowed myself a 30 second release, dried my face, started the engine and drove home where I locked myself away for the rest of the night.

Yesterday will go down in my mental history as one of the hardest days of my life.

Tags: Stress, Work/Life Balance

The Boy Misses His Mommy

I got a call from the boy’s teacher. We had actually been playing phone tag for a few days. It was parent teacher conference time and I was not available during the hours he wanted to meet. We planned to meet via phone but in the meantime he had something he was concerned about…

The boy was crying and acting out…”attention seeking” the teacher said.

“I’m doing my best to show him positive attention but I was wondering if anything was going on at home…?”

I knew right away what the deal was; the boy gave me a big fat hint not long before I got the call from teacher.

“He misses me,” I said resolutely. “I had been working from home for almost three years and now I work in an office.”

I replayed the last couple of months back in my head, trying to think if I had neglected spending time with the boy when I had it. No…we’d gone to our favorite breakfast spot twice last month, cuddled with each other on Saturday mornings, spent hours at our favorite coffee shop playing Mancala, I make him breakfast before school…There was only so much I could do without losing my own mommy time. And mommy is not happy when she doesn’t have her quiet time…

After taking inventory of mommy/boy quality time, I was confident that the issue was more that he was used to me always being around and now I wasn’t around nearly as much. I wasn’t see him off properly in the morning; not around to meet him at his classroom after school or to help him with his homework in the evenings (I expect it done by the time I get home)…He missed his mommy.

So I’ve been super affectionate and attentive the last week or so. I’m a little conflicted though, because I understand how the transition can be tough, but he’s not the first kid to have a working single mother. I’m torn between feeling his pain and thinking he should just get used to seeing me less.

Last Saturday, we went to breakfast and he tagged along while I ran errands in the morning. It was wonderful…just me and the boy. It made me miss the older boy a little because we used to do the same sort of thing on Saturdays before he moved across the country with his father.

sigh

We’ll all be together for Christmas and then I’ll soak up all the boy cuddles and affection I can stand. For now, I’ll have to be sensitive to the little dude’s discomfort with the change.

Change sometimes difficult after all…

Tags: Love, Transition, Work/Life Balance