Tagged: mean kids

Mar 08

There are assholes everywhere

A year ago I decided it was time to move. There had been two “shoot outs” in as many weeks, both of which involved my immediate neighbor. I had lived in that place for 9 years and while it wasn’t what I would consider an affluent neighborhood, it certainly wasn’t as bad as some of the neighborhoods in LA.

There were lots of kids, all of whom were pretty much given free reign to play anywhere in the complex. If any of them tried to venture out (as I’m sure some did), there were security guards at the gates to stop them.

But with two shoot outs and an impending rent increase, I decided it was time for me to go and set out to find a place between Long Beach and Irvine where I worked. I ended up finding this cute little place in Orange where there were lots of kids and families. It was a little suburban for my taste, but the school was good and my commute to work would be cut in half.

And I like the neighborhood for the most part. It’s been good so far. I had even gotten more comfortable with giving the boy a longer leash and letting him ride his scooter around, as long as he stayed away from the main road. He had made friends and knew to come in when it was dark.

Today though, things were terribly sullied.

The boy went out to ride his scooter as he often did when there was still light when we got home for the day. It was starting to get dark and I was watching the door for the boy to come bursting in. And he did…but without his scooter.

“Where’s your scooter?” I asked expecting him to tell me he had forgotten it at a friend’s house again.

“Someone took it,” he said.

“WHAT?!?” I was in shock.

“A kid just walked up and took it from me.”

“What kid? Do you know him? Have you seen him before?”

“I’ve seen him once, but I don’t know him.”

As I questioned him, the boy’s shoulders begin to slump and I could tell he was seriously hurt. Not physically mind you…but you know…someone had taken his shit right out of his hands!

“What happened?” I asked. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

He told me how he was riding past one of his friend’s houses and this kid he didn’t really recognize came up behind him, punched him and told him, “Gimme your scooter bitch.”

“I tried to chase him and get it back but he was on my scooter and I ran out of breath.”

I couldn’t believe it.

That’s the kind of story you expect to hear when you live in the hood not when you’re in what you thought was a safe suburban family cul-de-sac. I sat there in shock for a few minutes before telling him I was sorry he had to go through that.

And he broke down.

“It really, really sucks,” he sobbed. “I really liked that scooter.”

I held him close, told him I knew and assured him he would get another.

“Just like that one?”

“I can’t promise you that honey.”

“But that was my favorite scooter ever.”

“I know honey, I know.”
Fuck. There are assholes everywhere.

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Sep 28

They Made Fun of Me!

Yesterday the boy ran into the house screaming. This is not an unusual occurrence, he is a very sensitive and kind soul, and many of the other kids either take advantage of him or make fun of his uniqueness.

So he runs into the house and slams the door. I walk down the stairs to find him crying his eyes out ito a pillow, on the living room sofa.

“What happened?” I asked giving him a squeeze.

“They made fun of me!” He bawled.

“For what honey?”

“I fell and they made fun of me!” As he answered the questions, he alternately lifed his head and went back to crying into the pillow.

“Oh honey,” I said enacting phase one of Operation Console the Boy. He was hysteriacal over some kids laughing at him? Inside I was rolling my eyes, but I had to validate how he felt. I rubbed his back and encouraged him to get himself together.

Phase two is kind of tricky. If I didn’t chose my words just so, he would implode again and think I didn’t understand.

“You know, it sucks when people make fun of you, but that’s what kids do.” I paused and took a deep breath. He was truly being inconsolable and my patience was wearing thin. “Look at me boy.”

The sharp tone in my voice  shook him out of his hysteria slightly and he looked me in the eyes, sniffling and trying to catch his breath.

“They didn’t mean anything by it -”

“Yes they did!” Back to bawling.

“Honey…I mean…Yes, they were being mean and -”

The head pops up as he shouts, “They hurt my feelings!”

“I’m sorry about that; I really am. And I understand how upsetting that can be. But you cannot get this hysterical every time someone makes fun of you honey,” I was rubbing his back, wishing he would just calm down. “Buck up boy, get yourself together. I need to give you someinformation that will help you deal wit this next time.”

Eyes swollen and wet, he looked at me and did the crying hiccups.

“It sucks that they made fun ofyou when you fell. I’ve never thought that sort of thing was funny, but most kids and even some adults disagree. Them laughing wasn’t about you, but because they are kids and that’s what kids do. You reacting in this way gives them way too much power. You’re going to have to learn not to let it get to you like this. Next time, take a deep breath, and let it go.

He turned away, looking throught the glass patio door. Wiping his tears away with the back of this hand, the boy discarded the pillow and asked, “Can I go back outside?”

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