Tagged: Introspection

Dec 14

Thinking About Changing the Game

When I started this blog I had visions of grandeur and a plan to post something ever day. That quickly went away, but I had set myself up for failure by not starting at the beginning of the year as scheduled. This time I want to be ahead of myself and set a goal to write something for this blog every day.

Yep, I’m planning to blog the 365 days of 2010. I’m setting this goal in part, because it’ll force me to write something unrelated to work at least once a day. The other part is because I want to push myself to write more and to prepare myself for other goals I have for the year.

Another thing that got me thinking was this concept of changing the game. See, Sarah Robinson (Escaping Mediocrity) asked me to contribute an article to a project she’s working on, a project about changing the game. It got me to thinking about everything I’ve learned this year and how every mistake is a hint that its time to change your game.

This year was full of changes for me and things in my world look very different from how they looked last year. I accomplished many of the things I had planned, but still, on others, I floundered. I learned that I can sometimes be very self-righteous and petulant. For all of my interpersonal skills, I sure do know how to put my foot (or digital footprint, as it were) in my mouth. I was also reminded that others do not usually see me with the same eyes through which I see myself.

It wasn’t until I decided to look within that I saw the solution staring me right in the face. It was time for me to change my game and change my own perspective. So I made up my mind that I was going to be happy and productive and be a positive ray of light, no matter how tough things got. With this in practice for all of a week–maybe two–I have already felt begun to feel more calm and contented.

I’ve also decided that I need to be more diligent in working my program and work toward some of my longer term goals. To wit, I declare that starting January 1, 2010, I will write for this blog at least once a day, for 365 days of the year.

I hope you’re in the ride. I imagine it could get interesting around here.

Share

2
comments

Dec 06

Sometimes

Sometimes the world is all rainbows and sunshine.
Sometimes its dark and oppressive.
Sometimes we see others through our own lens.
Sometimes our perception dictates how that lens is focused.
Sometimes happiness is about learning to let some things go.
Sometimes letting go isn’t the easiest thing to do.
Sometimes we’re doing the best we can with what we have.
Sometimes you just need a break.
Sometimes you are the only person in your way.
Sometimes you just have to let things flow.
Sometimes things are not what they seem.

Share

1
comments

Nov 26

Until We Meet Again…

I dropped him off att he airport yesterday. It was hard to drive away. The last two weeks I was on such a love high…The whole thing felt like a beautiful dream. Balloon rides, wine tasting, walking on the beach, sleeping in the same bed…

The next few days will be about distracting myself so I don’t slip into sadness over his departure. I want him to be here, but I also know that if we just let things develop as they develop, our relationship will be happy and healthy. I don’t want a fairytale, I just don’t want to rush anything. I’ve been there and done that. This feels so good and so right, I don’t mind taking my time.

Who knows…We might end up together for the long haul. So whats a little distance until we get things sorted out.

For now, I send my love to him through the ether.

I love you David. Thank you for making me believe again.

Share

4
comments

Apr 14

Reflections The Night Before Moving Day

I’m tired. I’ve spent the last five days sorting through nearly a decade of my life and now I’m just tired. Emotionally, drained and simulteneously liberated. Excited and anxious…

I guess I should slow down a little…

For a while now, I’ve been on the hunt for a new place to live. There were several instances of premature excitement followed by subsequent disappointment, but this time its real. I found a flat closer to work, in a quiet little neighborhood in the OC (rolls eyes), with good schools, a fireplace, walk through closet, brand new carpet, paint, counters…everything. Its perfect.

But moving means having to pack; having to go through all the stuff I’ve accumulated for the eight years I’ve been in my current apartment. It’s a sort of deciding what baggage to take with me and what to leave behind. To be honest, I wanted to leave behind as much as possible because with all this transition, there must be something truly wonderful on the horizon. If I take too much baggage with me, I won’t have room.

So the clutter has been cleared and everything pretty much ready to be hauled away. Tomorrow begins a new adventure, a new chapter of my life, if you will. A step further closer to the manifestation of my developing prosperity consciousness. It is indeed a beautiful thing to understand what the bible means when it says, “I wish you would be in good health and prosper as your soul prospers.”

And that is exactly how I feel. As though I am prospering as my soul prospers. There was a time when my phone number changed every few months. Today I have the same cell phone number I have had for just over four years. I have been saving and paying down dept…becoming financially responsible and I am starting to see the rewards of such stewardship.

Tomorrow I move. It is as literal as it is symbolic; a fresh start, a new beginning. I’m a mash of emotions, but one this is certain: I’m going to be sleeping in my new room tomorrow. And what a beautiful sleep it will be.

Share

0
comments

Jan 16

Triple “E” Challenge: Introspection

This week has been rife with hard lessons, most of which have forced me to be introspective and examine myself. I’m inclined to introspection anyway, as well as being one of the best ways to maintain growth.

After Monday’s debacle and yesterday’s drama, it was nice to walk into the office and feel a lighter atmosphere. Everyone seems to be in good spirits and minding their business.

I also got a call from my best friend and non-romantic life partner, during which she explained that she was not neglecting me and did I still want to have drinks tonight.

HELLZ YEAH!

Whatever it was I was upset about was over with and I just wanted to hang out with my friend.

No more drama at work, no drama with the friend, the possibility of a new dwelling on the horizon…All is right with my world…

Share

0
comments