Tagged: happiness

Jun 15

Worry Edges Out Possibilities and Happiness

Don't worry, be happyMy sister often talks about how I am her example of how faith works. She’s seen me take risks and believe that the universe would return my willingness with abundant prosperity; and it has. For most of us, the problem isn’t that there aren’t opportunities and possibilities, its that we give into the fear and worry.

But there is one basic principal that got me on the path of shifting my perception away from lack and limitation to limitless possibilities.

I stopped worrying.

The concept is deceptively simple. I like to plan. I like to create structure around myself. I don’t like when things don’t go the way I plan them and I am still learning to be a good steward over my finances. But through all of life’s ups and downs, I’ve learned that worrying just gets in the way.

Ultimately the worry is fear. And fear doesn’t focus on possibilities. It puts the focus squarely on the problem and magnifies it so you feel helpless. The helplessness turns into stress and then you find yourself unable to rest or focus on anything other than whatever your current worry is. And some people worry all the time. That must be a stressful life.

I made a conscious decision not to worry and since then, when stressors come, I have learned to trust that everything will work itself out. It took years to get to this place where I can simply trust that things will work for the good. Yes, that’s right. I trust that things will work in my favor. After years of going through life’s peaks and valleys, I’ve learned that worry edges out the ability to see possibilities, and creates more stress.

And, really. Who needs that much stress in their lives? I sure don’t

Instead of worrying and focusing on the problem, when something comes up, I first evaluate what I can do about it. If there are actions I can take immediately to resolve the problem, I get to work. If there’s no immediate action that can be taken and I feel worry start to creep up, I remember that I have never gone hungry or been without shelter. In fact, my life has constantly improved and I have always been able to take care of my kids. I remind myself that through it all, I have come through a stronger, wiser and happier person.

Most of us spend our days worrying so much that we don’t even know we’re worried. But the key is to begin changing the way you think and shifting your perception away from the fear, to something more productive. Over time, when life knocks you over the head, you’ll be less compelled by that internal trigger that wants to focus all energies on “OMG OMG WHAT EVER WILL I DO?” Instead, you’ll be able to handle life’s stressors with a clear head, rather the being beholden to the negative what ifs.

Image via Evil Erin

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Jan 15

Change is good, especially when the timing is right

I spent the first week of 2011 in Ireland. I returned to the US feeling refreshed and happy in love. Went into work spreading good news (that I’m not prepared to share here yet) and everything was lovely.

That is, until I got the news that I would not be attending this year’s conference in ATL. I had been looking forward to it since last year’s conference in Miami. I couldn’t figure out why they would leave behind one of the hardest working and most experienced online editors at the company (granted the fact that I was most experienced with only six years of experience is a little scary. LOL).

I left work early on Thursday for visit to the Dr and returned on Friday ready for the weekend. It’s a good thing too because my weekend would be starting early. Not 20 minutes after I sat down at my desk to get started with my day, I got a call requesting my presence in the conference room. It was the kind of call where you know exactly what it means. This was the end of the road for me at Entrepreneur.

I walked into the conference room with a smile. And then the lawyer told me what I already knew was coming: Online editorial was being moved to the New York office. I could relocate (with no help) or accept a “rather generous” severance package.

For many young editors living in SoCal, the opportunity to move to New York with a job already guaranteed would be the opportunity of a lifetime. However, for me, it was a lifetime opportunity of a different type.

You, see…at the beginning of 2010, I had set a goal to be in the full-swing of a full-time freelance business before the start of 2011. Aside from the fitness goal, I hadn’t really hit any of my benchmarks for the year. I started to think about it and knew that I needed a new plan if I was serious about getting my business started. I had read all sorts of articles and books that said starting a business is best when you have time and savings, but without savings, its best to keep the day job until your side gig can replace the day job income.

That shit is easier said than done. So I was discouraged. I wanted to launch my business but I had neither the savings nor the time. I felt trapped in a job I honestly had a love hate relationship with.

So when offered the choice of relocating or taking the money the choice was easy: I took the money.

You see, the timing couldn’t have been better. Now I can really focus on doing the work to get my business started. In fact, I don’t have a choice because going to back to work for someone else is simply not an option for me.

What’s next? Oh…I think I’ll relax next week, taking my time to build a plan, enjoy the sunrise from my balcony in the morning. Make the boy a proper breakfast before seeing him off to school. Prepare for David’s arrival at the end of the month…

Life is good.

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