Tagged: freedom

May 23

He went to the park without me. I checked on him. He didn’t need me

Last year the Boy and I celebrated a play holiday created by Free-Range Kids author Lenore Skenazy: Take Your Kids to the Park and Leave Them There. We biked to the park and I left him at the playground while I rode the bike trails. I was nervous at first, but when I came back 30 minutes later, he had made a new friend.

This Saturday was Take Your Kids to the Park and Leave Them There Day, but we didn’t celebrate. Well…not in any official way. You see, in the year since the one we did celebrate, it has become commonplace for the boy to go to the park on his own and hang out with the other kids…mostly boys. So today was really a regular Saturday for us.

I suppose the real difference is that we’ve learned a lot since then. We’ve learned that while most folks are free-range friendly, there are those who don’t agree with the free-range philosophy. As a result, I pulled back a little, and the Boy hadn’t been able to visit some of his friends at the skate park/community center near our house. Sure there was the school park a block away, but the the Boy was beginning to miss his friends from other other park.

I had worried. Maybe a half a mile was too far. Maybe the big intersection he had to cross to get to the “big park” was too busy for him to cross without my supervision. Honestly, I was more worried about what people would think and do about my son being unsupervised than I was about him being hurt by a stranger, hit by a car or doing something dangerous.

But he wore me down and I started letting him go back to the big park. First for only an hour. Then for two. Then one day he called and said one of his friends was having a party, could he stay? And when I went over to check on him, he was playing with all the kids he had met during our first summer in this neighborhood.

All of this lead to today, when he begged me if he could go to the big park and despite my fear, I let him go with a warning to be careful and call me if he decided to hang out at a friend’s house. Which he did. And later, he called me again to let me know he was at the skate park. I thanked him for checking in, hung up the phone and geared up for a surprise check-up. (I find doing this keeps him honest, he never knows when I’m going to pop up and if I can’t find him where he said he’ll be, he’ll lose some of his precious freedom.)

When I got to the park, he was there, happily surrounded by other skater boys, practicing tricks. I stayed back and watched because I didn’t want to break his focus. It was awesome to see him out there with the other boys, all of them so focused on landing whatever jump or grind they were working to perfect. He fell down many times, as skaters often do, and I resisted the urge to rush to his aid.

And then the boy caught sight of me and I became a distraction from his practice so he asked me to leave. He asked me to leave!

The boy didn’t need me. Now isn’t that what being free-range is all about? So I left him. And it was just another Saturday.

Did you take your kids to the park and leave them there this weekend?

Image by greenkozi

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Apr 11

The new battle for civil rights

Last week I cried.

It was the day the government almost shut down and Trump was on MSNBC’s Today using the theory that President Obama was not a citizen as a ploy for ratings.

And I thought about this thread I keep hearing in the political code, about America being for “real Americans” and working to make American the great nation it once was.

I cried because I know how great this country is and can be. Because I am an example of the American Dream and because I am disturbed by the racist political code that implies that Barak Obama isn’t a “real American.” I cried because I think about the nostalgia for the 50s and what seems like nostalgia for the pre-Civil Rights era.

Do we really want to go backwards, returning to a time of inequality for women and people of color? It wasn’t until the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that schools were desegregated (though one could argue that schools are still segregated, but by economics rather than race), and gender became a protected class under the law. The first Black American, and a woman, Shirley Chisolm ran for President in 1972 and in 1981 the first woman was appointed to the Supreme Court.

As many Civil Rights scholars will point out, civil rights and women’s rights are and have always been inextricably linked. And it is clear that women are being targeted with both the attack on labor unions (which exempted the male dominated industries such as fire and police), and in the current backlash against women’s health and reproductive rights.

Are women not “real Americans?” Are our grandparents, who were among the first to feel the tightening of the social safety net, not “real Americans?” Are poor Americans less American because they are poor? Is the 44th President — and the first African American President of the United States — not a real American because he is “African American?”

What of all the people who immigrate to the US thinking of the Statue of Liberty’s declaration to bring the cold, tired, hungry and huddled masses yearning to breathe free?

Is it that the United States of America is no longer the land of infinite possibility and opportunity?

I cried because it became very clear to me that there really are people who are enemies to my liberty and wish to reverse many of the things that make this country so great. People who would disparage the first black President with implications that his blackness makes him less American than his predecessors. People who would rather pit working people against each other, while they deny us the right to equal protection under the law.

Then I remembered that it was women who fought for women’s rights and workers who fought for workers rights and African Americans who fought for desegregation. It is the responsibility of those who value freedom to be ever vigilant to guard that freedom from those who would strip it away.

And all I can do is hold on to my deep and enduring hope and trust in the human spirit. Just as I was raised with the knowledge that people fought for the rights I enjoy today, my generation is being challenged to a new civil rights battle. Who knows how the battle will play out, but I know that I am read to do my part to fight for my freedom and the freedom of future generations.

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Jan 15

Change is good, especially when the timing is right

I spent the first week of 2011 in Ireland. I returned to the US feeling refreshed and happy in love. Went into work spreading good news (that I’m not prepared to share here yet) and everything was lovely.

That is, until I got the news that I would not be attending this year’s conference in ATL. I had been looking forward to it since last year’s conference in Miami. I couldn’t figure out why they would leave behind one of the hardest working and most experienced online editors at the company (granted the fact that I was most experienced with only six years of experience is a little scary. LOL).

I left work early on Thursday for visit to the Dr and returned on Friday ready for the weekend. It’s a good thing too because my weekend would be starting early. Not 20 minutes after I sat down at my desk to get started with my day, I got a call requesting my presence in the conference room. It was the kind of call where you know exactly what it means. This was the end of the road for me at Entrepreneur.

I walked into the conference room with a smile. And then the lawyer told me what I already knew was coming: Online editorial was being moved to the New York office. I could relocate (with no help) or accept a “rather generous” severance package.

For many young editors living in SoCal, the opportunity to move to New York with a job already guaranteed would be the opportunity of a lifetime. However, for me, it was a lifetime opportunity of a different type.

You, see…at the beginning of 2010, I had set a goal to be in the full-swing of a full-time freelance business before the start of 2011. Aside from the fitness goal, I hadn’t really hit any of my benchmarks for the year. I started to think about it and knew that I needed a new plan if I was serious about getting my business started. I had read all sorts of articles and books that said starting a business is best when you have time and savings, but without savings, its best to keep the day job until your side gig can replace the day job income.

That shit is easier said than done. So I was discouraged. I wanted to launch my business but I had neither the savings nor the time. I felt trapped in a job I honestly had a love hate relationship with.

So when offered the choice of relocating or taking the money the choice was easy: I took the money.

You see, the timing couldn’t have been better. Now I can really focus on doing the work to get my business started. In fact, I don’t have a choice because going to back to work for someone else is simply not an option for me.

What’s next? Oh…I think I’ll relax next week, taking my time to build a plan, enjoy the sunrise from my balcony in the morning. Make the boy a proper breakfast before seeing him off to school. Prepare for David’s arrival at the end of the month…

Life is good.

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