Tagged: Finding Focus

Feb 22

A New Dawn, A New Day, A New Life

Just before the turn of the new year, I wrote about a dream assignment and a desire to stretch myself more as a writer. I wrote about possibilities and being at a fork in the road.

And then I went silent for a while. Why? Because I got to work. Sort of…

The truth is that the assignment at Infusionsoft turned into an amazing job offer as a staff writer, with one hitch: I had to move to Phoenix. And while the decision to accept the offer was sort of a no-brainer, I’ve been working these last two months planning my transition.

Here I am with seven days before the big move and the last week for me to wrap up my bigger freelance projects. I’ve got boxes all over my house, boxes that will get packed into a moving truck next week, when I uproot my life here in sunny SoCal, for a new start in the Arizona desert.

It’s all at once exhilarating and stressful. The boy doesn’t want to move, so there’s the guilt about uprooting his life. I have friends and community here that I’ll miss. I’ll miss the beach and freelance freedom. What I won’t miss is the bustle of SoCal living. And while I’ll miss the flexibility of being my own boss, I don’t think I’ll miss having to hustle so hard to support myself and my family.

Speaking of family, with the new income and the new house, the elder boy will be able to come live with me again. Sometime near the end of the year, my long distance for too long honey will return for good. And poof, I’ll have all my boys under one roof.

It’s all a little too much to process right now. I’m still processing the idea of leaving the beach. But in seven days, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing.

Image courtesy of Sean MacEntee

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Apr 27

Revelations from being unfocused and frustrated

Somehow I knew that I was going to have a hard time focusing when I went to yoga yesterday. I need to do laundry and I was wearing these shorts that are fine in the house, but otherwise make me feel really exposed. The class is heated anyway and it was either wear the shorts or skip yoga, and I really wanted to go. So I wore the shorts hoping for a spot on the back wall, where no one would be behind me.

Instead I ended up second row from the front, with two guys and a scent happy woman behind me. I was already feeling like I’d be flashing everyone when I got into downward dog, and then the instructor turned the lights up. I was uncomfortable, self-conscious, disconnected from my breath and just waiting for the class to be over.

I tried to fight through and find a focused place but ended up leaving about 10 minutes before the class ended, frustrated. With everything. Frustrated about the unfocused and ineffective yoga experience. Frustrated that things didn’t go according to plan. Frustrated about having to wait. Frustrated with my finances.

And what does all this frustration get me?

It doesn’t make the things go my way. Doesn’t make me stop wanting. Doesn’t help the focus. Doesn’t help me be happy.

I recalled previous yoga instructors reminding us to be focused and present on the mat and how that focus was always what made the yoga experience most effective and fun.

Its so natural for the mind to wonder off to some moment other than the one you’re experiencing right now. To get so focused on what’s next that you become frustrated and ineffective. But I have never found yoga as frustrating as when I struggled to connect with my breath and be present on the mat.

Such is the same with building a business, a relationship, and even with raising kids. The more present we are in each individual moment, the more those moments make you stronger and wiser. And each focused moment builds momentum to move you closer to your vision.

Image by Funkdooby

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Feb 01

I’ve got some ideas

I’m playing around with some ideas regarding where I want to take this blog. I’ve gotta come up with something if I’m going to keep up a 365 project. I have some plans to grow this blog, to build a community, but I’m not sure what type of community I want to build.

Part of me wants to build and become part of a single mom community. Super women who work, raise kids, cook, clean, have social lives (what’s that?)…For the women trying to balance it all but knowing that having it all is too much of a sacrifice and we will not sacrifice happiness and fulfillment for someone else’s dream.

Another part of me wants to avoid pinning down a theme. A theme means no (mostly) random musings. ( Read more )

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