Tagged: Balance

Jan 26

Life in motion and pondering possibilities

This last week and a half has been interesting. I say interesting because I’ve been productive, relaxed and well received by the Boy.

I’m always talking about how my life has changed and the truth is that life is always changing and shifting. Still the magnitude of change for me, after my life having been fairly stagnant for the better part of a decade, has astounded me. I won’t recount everything that’s happened over the last few years (again). What I will say is that life in motion is so much more fun than life in pause.

Which brings me to a few more changes that are impending. Some of these changes are already in the works, while others are just ponderances of possibility.

What possibility am I pondering? The possibility of becoming a health and fitness professional. I suppose submitting an application for a yoga teacher training program is a little more than pondering, but it felt right. Because what better way could I find to incorporate fitness into my life than to teach fitness to others?

There’s this voice in my head that keeps saying I’m not fit enough to teach fitness to others. But that voice is a lie and as I submitted my application, answering the questions designed to gage my desire to become a yoga instructor, I had this feeling of excitement. It was excitement about the possibility of entering yet another new phase of life and not knowing what’s on the other side of the open door. Excitement about taking a leap of faith.

And why shouldn’t I make that leap? This is what the life in motion is all about. Who knows? Maybe life will continue to reward my leaps with positive return and more possibilities to ponder.

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Posted in Goal Setting, My Life

Jan 15

Change is good, especially when the timing is right

I spent the first week of 2011 in Ireland. I returned to the US feeling refreshed and happy in love. Went into work spreading good news (that I’m not prepared to share here yet) and everything was lovely.

That is, until I got the news that I would not be attending this year’s conference in ATL. I had been looking forward to it since last year’s conference in Miami. I couldn’t figure out why they would leave behind one of the hardest working and most experienced online editors at the company (granted the fact that I was most experienced with only six years of experience is a little scary. LOL).

I left work early on Thursday for visit to the Dr and returned on Friday ready for the weekend. It’s a good thing too because my weekend would be starting early. Not 20 minutes after I sat down at my desk to get started with my day, I got a call requesting my presence in the conference room. It was the kind of call where you know exactly what it means. This was the end of the road for me at Entrepreneur.

I walked into the conference room with a smile. And then the lawyer told me what I already knew was coming: Online editorial was being moved to the New York office. I could relocate (with no help) or accept a “rather generous” severance package.

For many young editors living in SoCal, the opportunity to move to New York with a job already guaranteed would be the opportunity of a lifetime. However, for me, it was a lifetime opportunity of a different type.

You, see…at the beginning of 2010, I had set a goal to be in the full-swing of a full-time freelance business before the start of 2011. Aside from the fitness goal, I hadn’t really hit any of my benchmarks for the year. I started to think about it and knew that I needed a new plan if I was serious about getting my business started. I had read all sorts of articles and books that said starting a business is best when you have time and savings, but without savings, its best to keep the day job until your side gig can replace the day job income.

That shit is easier said than done. So I was discouraged. I wanted to launch my business but I had neither the savings nor the time. I felt trapped in a job I honestly had a love hate relationship with.

So when offered the choice of relocating or taking the money the choice was easy: I took the money.

You see, the timing couldn’t have been better. Now I can really focus on doing the work to get my business started. In fact, I don’t have a choice because going to back to work for someone else is simply not an option for me.

What’s next? Oh…I think I’ll relax next week, taking my time to build a plan, enjoy the sunrise from my balcony in the morning. Make the boy a proper breakfast before seeing him off to school. Prepare for David’s arrival at the end of the month…

Life is good.

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Posted in Goal Setting, My Life, On The Job

Nov 06

On finding comfort in change

I’ve felt like my life was in transition for so long, I’m starting to feel like the transition is life. Over the course of four years I went from married to divorced; working from home for a small online publisher to being an editor on the website of a national publication; eating take-out almost every day to making most meals and encouraging others to do the same; feeling lonely and depressed to a ramped up the activity level and living a healthy happy life.

I won’t pretend any of this has been easy. And I think about it all the time because it still feels new. Even money doesn’t seem so stressful anymore. Of course…I’m working two jobs, but I have to say it ain’t so bad.

It feels good to see the life I want unfolding before my eyes. I’m also realizing that I was expecting this to happen 5 years ago. To feel financial stability and excitement about every day. And I still have a long way to go, the vision expanding as life goes on.

Don’t get me wrong. Every day is not easy. But I’ve learned that there really isn’t much I can’t handle. I can see the growth in wisdom that could only be gained with age. Even when sometimes I feel like my support system is impossibly spread out, I know they are there and I can always call on them when I need them.

So what’s not to be happy about? Life is good.

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Posted in My Life

Jan 13

No More Mediocrity for Me

Today is day 3 in the 30 Days to Changing Your Game Series. The subject? Sabotage. As I read what Carla Young had to say about the lies we tell ourselves and being afraid of success, I realized that I have sabotaged myself over and over. And right there in the comments, I admitted that failure is familiar territory for me.

Why should I be so closely acquainted with failure? I consider myself an overachiever. In college I was disappointed when I got anything less than an A, I even negotiated a D to a B all because I thought the professor was trying to grade me based on her dislike for me personally. Mediocrity is not something I aspire to.

But somehow I’ve often gotten paralyzed with the fear of what might happen if I tried and didn’t succeed.

It’s so much easier to just get by, to do just enough. It takes real courage to push through the fear and jump off the ledge trying to accomplish your goals.

So today’s commitment: I’m going to stop sandbagging. I need a little discomfort to get where I want to go. And since accomplishing my goals means embarking on unfamiliar territory, fear is par for the course.

Its time for me to escape mediocrity. I’m so glad to be part of a new tribe, a new network of people supporting my growth and the accomplishment of my goals.

I leave you with my horoscope for today:

The most important thing to remember about this Saturn transit, Leo, is that the actions you take and even more importantly the words you speak will have effects that last for a long time. Saturn, in your solar chart is in both a sign and a house where it is very comfortable. Over the quarter of a decade that Saturn remains there, you may find yourself networking with (or thrown into the neighborhood of) people who are well established, and very practical. You won’t find this time dry or dull, because many goals will be accomplished with their support.

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Posted in My Life

Jan 12

Recommitting to a Healthy Lifestyle

I used to be very active. I started swimming when I was four and began competing by the time I was five. Growing up, I often spent the entire summer at the pool: lessons in the morning, free swim in the afternoon, swim team practice in the evening.

In high school we often had two practices a day: two hours in the morning, two hours in the afternoon. In city college, I played water polo and joined the swim team. Once I got to the university, I wasn’t able to join the teams (some NCAA technicality) but I enrolled in swim fitness classes and swam two or three times a week.

Since I didn’t have reliable transportation, I usually caught the bus or walked everywhere I needed to go. I was athletic and had lots of energy.

Once I graduated college, I spent most of my time in the house and rarely ever exercised. I began living a sedentary life.

This year, I want to change that. No, no, it’s not a resolution, it’s a necessity.

For most of my life I have lived a relatively healthy lifestyle. And then suddenly I just stopped. Despite saying I wanted to work out and lose weight and be fit, I continued to do nothing to make those things happen. I made excuses: I only like swimming, I don’t like walking or running, I can’t afford a gym membership.

The time for excuses is over.

Starting this year, I’ve decided that I have to put my money where my mouth is. I’ve got someone willing to join me in my fitness quest and we’ve already made a plan for classes and activities to do together.

Baby steps right?

I think I’m on my way.

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Posted in My Life

Jan 09

Returning to Normal

So it seems things are starting to return to normal. My brother decided to go back to my sister’s house; of course he had to listen to nearly an hour lecture on how this is his last chance. As the mediator even I had to be careful not to sigh too loudly while on the conference call with the family.

I’m also sending my oldest son home on the red eye tomorrow night. He won’t get home until 6:30 am, but at least he’ll be home to sleep in his own bed.

This also means that my house will go back to being relatively quiet. One kid can only make so much noise, but two or three children exponentially increase the noise level. Honestly, I don’t know how people do it; four and five kids…or in some cases 20. I’d go crazy not being able to quiet spot to think.

Even with all the noise and the craziness of the last few weeks, I’ll miss my boy when he goes back to his dad. He’s smart and funny and it seems like he’s on the road to being someone I might be able to be friends with when he becomes an adult. I’m proud of him and appreciate the great job his dad is doing raising such a fine young man.

But I will relish the quiet when things go back to normal.

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Posted in My Life, Parenting

Jan 05

Clarity Revisited

Tonight was the night to catch up with a close friend and discuss our visions for the year. Last year at this time I was really into this idea of clarity. I was on fire. The only problem is that my vision was unclear. I was grasping for clarity, and that clarity only came recently.

And I just realized it tonight.

It was easy for me to outline my goals. Not just goals for this year, but sort of a vision for what I see in the next two or three years. I grabbed a piece of paper and actually saw a plan.

It was a proud accomplishment after the stark realization that my long term goals had become short term goals and then I had accomplished what I had set out to do. It’s scary to be a goal driven person and suddenly realize that you have no goal.

So I had to come up with some goals.

Not because I needed to be doing something but because while I had accomplished my goals, my vision for my life wasn’t actualized. I knew there was more work to do.

I started asking myself: what’s next?

And tonight, I had clarity. About my health, educational, career and creative future. I wrote it down and made it plain. I made the goals measurable and attainable. I even gave myself deadlines for things needing deadlines.

A year ago this was a slog but tonight it was a breeze.

Maybe it was time for me to be clear about my goals this year.

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Posted in My Life

Jan 03

Go Outside!

I love my boys but they are noisy. Granted that’s what kids are supposed to be…

Most of the holiday season, I’ve had a quiet house, boys at their respective grandparents and all. Since New Year’s Eve, I’ve had three: the boy, the kid and the brother.

So for the past few days, I’ve had all three boys. And damn if they aren’t energetic and rowdy and loud.

Actually, I screwed up when booking the kid’s flight back to ATL so he’s going to be here a week longer than expected. The brother got into some trouble with my sister and she decided she’d had enough, tagged off to me, after I agreed to take him for the weekend; so it looks like he’ll be here for a while.

But today I was at my wits end and when we returned him after church, I sent the boy and the kid outside. Oh sure they complained about it being hot and whined about being bored and wanting to stay in the house. I wasn’t having that though…Hell, they’ll be lucky if I let them back in the house before dinner time.

I bet they’ll think twice about rough housing and talking all loud in my house for the next day or so. Especially if I remind them that they can go outside for that.

I don’t expect silence but I do expect them to use inside voices and not bounce off the walls. And if they want to play or talk all extra loud…

They can take that shit outside.

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Posted in My Life, Parenting, The Fam

Jan 15

Triple “E” Challenge: Awareness & Restfulness

Grrrr! I was exhausted last night and while I didn’t feel like writing, I was totally going to do it anyway…and then my internet connection went down and I gave up. Hopefully you’ll forgive me the lapse…

Catching up though, yesterday’s word was awareness, the experience of which was kind of double sided. On the one hand, I was very aware that I was especially, head-turningly fly yesterday…on the other hand the incident from Monday came back to haunt me. I was forced again to be aware of how making stupid mistakes can have a bigger affect that you ever anticipate. Aware of the fact that while I was told to drop it, obviously I had hurt my co-worker much more than she was willing to admit to me at the time. Humility became my best friend and for the first time in a very long time, I felt regret.

Today’s word is restfulness. I soooooooo want to experience, express and enjoy getting restful sleep tonight…breezing through my day in a restful manner. Actually, since I have worked so far ahead, my work load is not too crazy for the next couple days. Perhaps the lunch by the pool with my co-workers this afternoon will be relaxing…who knows.

Whatever happens today, I’m going to bed early and if anyone wakes me in the middle of the night, they’re getting yelled on.

Dammit I’m sleeping!

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Posted in My Life

Jan 11

Tripple “E” Challenge: Time for Yeilding

Yesterday was about taking a time out and today is definitely about yielding. The message of the service at my spiritual community was even about led by the spirit. Really being in tune with the divine wisdom within and simply put, going with the flow.

Funny thing is that I wasn’t as moved by the delivery as my friend seemed to be. It wasn’t until I came home and looked at my word of the day that it hit me. Yielding. Sometimes you just gotta let things happen, rather than trying to force them into place.

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Posted in My Life

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