Tagged: 365 Project

Feb 07

Oh no, not again…

It’s sad when you do nothing all day and you still forget to post a blog.

Yep, that’s what happened yesterday.

Well…not literally nothing, but it’s not like I was super busy and didn’t have time. I just…forgot. And you know what? I’m not going to beat myself up about it. The real goal is to write every day and that I didn’t forget. I’m also not giving up. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m still determined to get through this blasted 365 project.

I won’t call it a fail because I’ve posted more days than I haven’t, and I plan to keep it that way. I’d much rather post when I have something to say, but since the goal is to write every day and using this blog is a good way to keep myself accountable, I won’t use the I don’t have anything to say cop-out.

I’m sure there will be other missed days, but I’m going to keep on plugging along.

Who’s with me! :D

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Jan 30

Oh yeah, I started the year with a bang!

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can’t help it the road just rolls out behind me

– Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine

Wow, this has been quite a productive month and start to a new year.

Still hanging in there with the 30 Days change series with Sarah Robinson of Escaping Mediocrity (though I haven’t been as engaged as I probably should be) and working out multiple times a week. My life hasn’t changed dramatically, but it’s a process and I’m working it.

Not that I have an official plan or anything. Just a skeleton outline of what I want to get done this year and what it’ll take to get there. I’m proud to say that some of my goals are already under way and I feel great.

The thing is that I’ve been itching for change. I knew that my transformation was not–is not–complete. My vision is not fulfilled and I have a long way to go before it is. But I love the feeling that I’m on the right path.

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Jan 29

This 365 thing is tough

Man, this 365 thing is really tough. I’ve already missed two days, both times because I simply forgot to post something. Almost did the same thing tonight except I woke up so I could write something for this blog.

Is that really what I want? Is this 365 blogging project worth waking up in the middle of the night just to write about how I woke up in the middle of the night because I almost forgot to write and post?

Like I said. It’s tough.

Probably better to find something throughout the day that really inspired me or made me think. Better to find something throughout the day worth writing about. Maybe that way, I won’t forget and I won’t just ramble on in circles and things will be more interesting.

Tomorrow is another day.

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Jan 16

Triple “E” Challenge: Introspection

This week has been rife with hard lessons, most of which have forced me to be introspective and examine myself. I’m inclined to introspection anyway, as well as being one of the best ways to maintain growth.

After Monday’s debacle and yesterday’s drama, it was nice to walk into the office and feel a lighter atmosphere. Everyone seems to be in good spirits and minding their business.

I also got a call from my best friend and non-romantic life partner, during which she explained that she was not neglecting me and did I still want to have drinks tonight.

HELLZ YEAH!

Whatever it was I was upset about was over with and I just wanted to hang out with my friend.

No more drama at work, no drama with the friend, the possibility of a new dwelling on the horizon…All is right with my world…

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Jan 15

Triple “E” Challenge: Awareness & Restfulness

Grrrr! I was exhausted last night and while I didn’t feel like writing, I was totally going to do it anyway…and then my internet connection went down and I gave up. Hopefully you’ll forgive me the lapse…

Catching up though, yesterday’s word was awareness, the experience of which was kind of double sided. On the one hand, I was very aware that I was especially, head-turningly fly yesterday…on the other hand the incident from Monday came back to haunt me. I was forced again to be aware of how making stupid mistakes can have a bigger affect that you ever anticipate. Aware of the fact that while I was told to drop it, obviously I had hurt my co-worker much more than she was willing to admit to me at the time. Humility became my best friend and for the first time in a very long time, I felt regret.

Today’s word is restfulness. I soooooooo want to experience, express and enjoy getting restful sleep tonight…breezing through my day in a restful manner. Actually, since I have worked so far ahead, my work load is not too crazy for the next couple days. Perhaps the lunch by the pool with my co-workers this afternoon will be relaxing…who knows.

Whatever happens today, I’m going to bed early and if anyone wakes me in the middle of the night, they’re getting yelled on.

Dammit I’m sleeping!

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Jan 13

Triple “E” Challenge: Longing

Longing hardly seems like something you want to express or experience and the enjoyment is fleeting…

Today I’ve been having a hard time coping with the distance between David and I. Its hard for us to coordinate talking because of the time difference and I was feeling especially needy today.

So today’s word is longing.

Technically I’m supposed to pick the word before I start my day, but I’m certain that the words I end up with are the words I’m supposed to be pondering.

How can one enjoy longing? Most of the time I cope very well. I didn’t even feel the his absence this past weekend when he was off the grid…But after almost five days of very abridged communication, I am starting to feel the sting. What I wouldn’t give to be in his presence, to touch him…smell him…

Alas, he is 7000 miles away and there is nothing we can do about it at the present moment. So for now, I send my love across the universe and long for the day we can be together.

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Jan 12

Triple “E” Challenge: Nothing Like a Foot in the Mouth to Teach You Compassion

Today starts the second week of my Triple “E” Challenge and while I slept in this morning, I know that today I definitely learned a lesson in compassion.

I had been warned, when you’re sending IMs, make sure you send them to the right person. Boy did I learn the hard way. I sent the wrong message to the wrong person…actually…it was a message about the receiver that was never meant for her to see. Simply put, I sent a gossipy message and the wrong person got it.

Now normally I try to avoid getting into gossip. A don’t like being mean spirited and talking about people behind their backs; and I definitely like to maintain positive work relationships.

So when I realized the wrong person got the message, I apologized immediately, but of course the damage had been done. I was mortified and I deserved to be. I had made a poor choice in sending the message anyway. By sending that negativity into the ether, my own ugliness was reflected back to me.

I felt horrible for most of the afternoon, but since she told me to drop it and I can’t beat myself up about it forever, I’m going to chalk it up to a lesson learned.

Today I experienced compassion because the person I was talking about was willing to forgive me almost immediately. I also learned that even when you thing you’re doing something in secret, you are still sowing a seed, so be careful what you sow into the universe.

Here’s to learning what compassion is, the hard way.

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Jan 11

Tripple “E” Challenge: Time for Yeilding

Yesterday was about taking a time out and today is definitely about yielding. The message of the service at my spiritual community was even about led by the spirit. Really being in tune with the divine wisdom within and simply put, going with the flow.

Funny thing is that I wasn’t as moved by the delivery as my friend seemed to be. It wasn’t until I came home and looked at my word of the day that it hit me. Yielding. Sometimes you just gotta let things happen, rather than trying to force them into place.

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Jan 10

Talk About a Day of R-n-R

While I like to be busy, I also enjoy the occasional lazy day, doing practically nothing. Literally. Not leaving the bed but for food and other…bodily functions. Truthfully, I need one of these days at least once a month, but especially when I’ve been sick for what seems like forever.

So this morning I decided I was going to exert as little energy as possible, because I want to feel better. But I couldn’t just sleep all day so I watched movies: Super Bad, The Other Boleyn Girl and Pan’s Labyrinth; which were all good in their own way.

Super Bad was definitely an awesomely bad, cult classic, coming of age, comedy of errors, staring the lovable losers. Cut and print. I had a few laughs, no desire to see it again.

The Other Boleyn Girl
was yet another movie about Henry VIII and his wives, this time focusing on the family and how their ambition was both their downfall and a bittersweet victory.

Pan’s Labyrinth…now that movie was great. Fantasy mixed with realism; a beautiful allegory. It was thrilling and at times frighteningly cold, told in this illusory way, wrapped in an enthralling package…my heart was racing all the way through it and I want to watch again tomorrow.

So there you have it. My day in a nutshell. When was the last time you took a day to just relax?

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Jan 09

Tripple “E” Challenge: Integrity

Well…when I meditated this morning on expressing, experiencing and enjoying integrity, I certainly didn’t expect that to mean I’d be leaving work early due to sickness.

Sometimes having integrity means realizing that you need to just take a break. And that’s what happened to me today…

I hate missing work, but if I don’t take care of myself, I’m no good to anyone.

So here’s to having the integrity to admit when I just can’t do it anymore, to understanding that healthy = more productive, and to getting back to full health before going back to work on Monday.

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