I’m not all that into Valentines anyway

The ex never believed me so even though money was always tight, he always at least got a flower, chocolates, a cheap stuffed animal holding a heart that said “Be Mine” or something. I love chocolates, the flowers and plush toys I can do without.

I don’t, however, need an excuse to go to an awesome brunch with the boy and some friends. Besides which, the boy has been bugging me for ages to go back. So we’re getting up early (but not to early) to beat the V-Day crowds and stuff our faces, have many mimosas–too much sugar for the kid–and appreciate the good company.

Here’s the thing…I may not be into it, but my boyfriend The Mad Carpenter is totally mushy and sentimental and would be terribly hurt if I didn’t at least post some sort of love tribute. Truthfully, if he were here, I’d be excited because he’d definitely have something romantic planned. And while I may not be big on flowers or plush toys, romantic gestures are always welcome.

If he were here, he’d join my friends, the boy and me on our Valentines brunch and the day would have a different glow about it. Alas, he’s not here, so its just a regular day.

But still, I can’t let it pass without giving him a shout-out.

David I love you. I wish you were here.

Tags: Brunch, Friendship, Love, The Mad Carpenter, Valentine's Day

Until We Meet Again…

I dropped him off att he airport yesterday. It was hard to drive away. The last two weeks I was on such a love high…The whole thing felt like a beautiful dream. Balloon rides, wine tasting, walking on the beach, sleeping in the same bed…

The next few days will be about distracting myself so I don’t slip into sadness over his departure. I want him to be here, but I also know that if we just let things develop as they develop, our relationship will be happy and healthy. I don’t want a fairytale, I just don’t want to rush anything. I’ve been there and done that. This feels so good and so right, I don’t mind taking my time.

Who knows…We might end up together for the long haul. So whats a little distance until we get things sorted out.

For now, I send my love to him through the ether.

I love you David. Thank you for making me believe again.

Tags: David In So Cal, Introspection, Love, Relationships

Yeah, yeah…you want to know how things are going…

First things first: David’s here! *does happy dance*

Check out his blog to see what’s been happening over the last couple days. I’ll also tell you my short version just to catch you up.

In & Out for the first meal in SoCal. Friday was a domestic day…washing clothes groceries…that sort of thing. Saturday we went wine tasting in Temecula. Today we’re going on a balloon ride.

It’s been awesome and he’s only been here 4 days! The first hug was a little nervous but once we got over the initial shock of actually being in each others’ presence, the nervousness dissipated and we were like old friends.

What else can I say? It’s been wonderful. I’m enjoying every moment.

Tags: David In So Cal, Relationships, The Mad Carpenter, Travel

A Year and Finally We Meet

Yep, it really has been a year. It seems a little like a lucid dream but its all so real (especially since we’ve got money invested). I have to admit that even I was a skeptic at first. I mean really, a long distance (7,000 miles to be exact) relationship with someone I met on the internet? For a while I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Then we had a few arguments and started talking about the future and things became more and more real.

The only thing that was really making things hard was the distance. Hell, that’s a pretty big deal, I’d say. And as time went on and the yearning to be in his presence grew deeper, I decided that I couldn’t go beyond a year in the relationship without at least a visit.

So David and I talked about it and began saving money (Yes we both saved. What a bitch I’d be to ask him to fly 7k miles and not even be willing to pay half of his nearly $800 air fare?) and he promised that by the time our one year anniversary came, we would meet.

Well, our anniversary was two days ago, but not to worry, we shall meet in person next Thursday and spend two wonderful weeks together.

Am I nervous? Hell yeah!

Am I excited? Are you freakin’ kidding me?

I don’t know that I’ve ever been more nervous or excited about anything.

So there you have it.

5 days…

Tags: Relationships, The Mad Carpenter, Travel

Protected: Love Hurts, But Sometimes its a Good Hurt

Triple “E” Challenge: Longing

Longing hardly seems like something you want to express or experience and the enjoyment is fleeting…

Today I’ve been having a hard time coping with the distance between David and I. Its hard for us to coordinate talking because of the time difference and I was feeling especially needy today.

So today’s word is longing.

Technically I’m supposed to pick the word before I start my day, but I’m certain that the words I end up with are the words I’m supposed to be pondering.

How can one enjoy longing? Most of the time I cope very well. I didn’t even feel the his absence this past weekend when he was off the grid…But after almost five days of very abridged communication, I am starting to feel the sting. What I wouldn’t give to be in his presence, to touch him…smell him…

Alas, he is 7000 miles away and there is nothing we can do about it at the present moment. So for now, I send my love across the universe and long for the day we can be together.

Tags: 365 Project, Romance, The Mad Carpenter, Triple E Challenge

The Mad Carpenter is My Boyfriend!

I know, I know…you’re probably wondering what happened to the daily spirit work posts…well. I haven’t forgotten, and I am still doing the assignment, but I have had other things to blog about for the last couple of days. I’ve still kept up with my daily blogging, so give me a break.

For instance, I’d like to take this moment to totally muse about my boyfriend. OMG! I’m blogging about my boyfriend, what’s wrong with me?!

This deserves acknowledging. And hell, this is a personal blog anyway…

A few months back I talked about falling in love and struggling with the distance of the long distance romance, but ultimately, this relationship seems to be the healthiest I’ve ever been in.

And who is this man? Why he’s The Mad Carpenter of course!

I suppose I should get to the point…what inspired this gushing about my boyfriend?

This morning I received a wake up call from him, telling me to log onto my computer and check his blog. When I did, I found this. What a lovely way to wake up; to a romantic gesture and beautiful tribute to me and the gift I sent him for his birthday.

Despite the sickness I feel creeping up on me (I know, WTF?!) and the accompanying fatigue I’ve felt all week, I started the day with a spring in my step and all seemed right with the world. The fog might have been thick and the smog sticking to the mountain peaks off in the distance, but I don’t care because I have love. Real love.

He may be mad, but he is madly in love with me and if feels good to be reverenced in such a way. I haven’t felt so special in a very long time.

I truly believe ours is the type of romance every girl dreams of…I just never thought it would happen to me.

Tags: Gifts, Romance, The Mad Carpenter

Separation Anxiety

The yearning grows deeper over time
He pours his heart into my soul
Feeding my energy addiction
As I siphon what he gives willingly
Drinking in his love
Basking in euphoria

He leaves a trail for me to follow
Evidence of his love
Pieces to sustain me in his absence
When off he disappears
A ghost in the wind
His voice echoes in my head

He’ll return soon
But for now I pull together the puzzle
Grasping at the threads
Comforted by transcripts
As the sound begins to fade
I start to feel the pang

It doesn’t take long
Before the fibers begin to wear
His absence a short eternity
My craving grows stronger
Each minute a tiny forever
Grasping, grasping…

The cosmos send his love
To me on a zephyr
A warm embrace
Wrapped in his heart
I sleep dreaming of his face
His touch, his voice…

Tags: Poetry, Romance

Ah…Love

The last year or so has been a bummer romantically. Being newly single – after separating from my husband of 4 years, partner for 8 – the time came when I decided I was ready to go out and meet new people. For all of my trying, I never did recapture a real social life, or at least not in the way I thought I should. I’m still in my 20s so shouldn’t I be out having crazy fun every night? Bar hopping, clubbing and such?

Oh bah! To be honest, all of those things had lost their luster long ago when I was doing it before I was even legal drinking age. But the question remained, where does a girl meet a guy? Hell, isn’t there somewhere to go that doesn’t involve sitting in front of a computer, where I could meet new people?

Turns out that there is no simple answer. I hung out with my best friend at the local Irish pub, attended micro brew tappings, flew across the country for a Vinemeet, went to Seattle for one music festival and to San Francisco for another, and while it was all fun, there seemed to be no hope of a new love connection on the horizon for me.

And then one day I decided to take a risk and ask a guy I had been running in the same internet circle with for nearly three years, if we could connect outside of our public social networks. He was all for it and immediately we hit it off. We talked about everything and nothing; openly and honestly…intimately.

We spoke almost every night, so much so that over the next couple of weeks, he became the last person I spoke to before going to sleep…haunting my dreams. There was a familiar free falling, heart thumping feeling, but I kept trying to push it down until one day I finally admitted it to myself that I loved him…But how could I tell him? I mean, would it scare him? It scared me…

One night, I hinted around cryptically about feeling something I wasn’t ready to say yet and he knew exactly what I was talking about…

“What you’ve been thinking all day…is that you’re in love.”

Where does he get off being so cocky and knowing? Fucker…

But he was right. I was entirely smitten. Thinking about him all day, dreaming about him at night…Couldn’t get him out of my head. It took him a couple days to admit that he was feeling the same way, and then yesterday, I actually said the words, I love you.

And he loves me back!

Suffice it to say, I was floating on a euphoric love cloud for the rest of the day. I hope this feeling never goes away.

Tags: Love, Romance