It’s all connected

My first job out of college was with one of those early online publishers. I was skeptical at first when I was interviewed by this guy who for all of his professionalism was wearing jeans and had exposed tattoos. The interview was great and two days later I was offered the gig. I had never worked for a startup before and had been applying for PR gigs.

When I saw the ad for Know More Media, an online publisher of business news and information, I thought, hey…what the hell. I’ll either get it or not. I had never heard of this publisher but telecommuting sounded like a winner to me.

Everyone I told about the job was just as skeptical as I was. They’d raise their eyebrows and ask, “Online publisher?” At the time, the idea of a blog network that wasn’t a personal blog was still a new concept. And when my first paycheck was late, I had red flags all over the place. Turns out, the late paycheck was my fault because I had provided the wrong checking account information and being an editor at Know More Media became one of my favorite jobs ever.

The day I found out that the company was going under, was a very sad day indeed. But it left me with great professional experience and great friends. I still look back on my KMM days affectionately, have lunch with the guys from time to time and find ways to work with some of the authors who were also part of that great publishing experiment.

And this morning I was offered an opportunity to work with one of my former bosses; a semi-silent KMM partner who has always been very kind to me. I’m excited and encouraged by his confidence in my skills. I also know that this is one of many gigs that will launch my business.

I’ll forever be grateful for the experience and relationships that came out of my time at Know More Media. It prepared me for the rest of my career in the publishing industry as an editor and gatekeeper.

Tags: Business, Experience, Friendships, Goals, Know More Media, Reflections

On goals, desire and the timing of it all

So I’ve been going back and forth for the last month or so about the grad school thing. The plan was to apply to this great program where I’d get two masters degrees: one from the London School of Economics and another from USC. Whether or not I would get in was never a question; I assumed that applying meant acceptance because I’m just that awesome.

The problem was in trying to figure out how I would get to London, pay tuition, support myself as a student in another country and then in 10 months turn around an come back to the states and basically start all over. The fact is that while the program would change my life and fits into my aspiration to one day be a college professor, I can’t really afford it.

Now sure I could take out a huge loan or try for a grant or two, but I want to get out of debt, not deeper into debt. So I decided that it was time to rethink this goal and whether or not this is the right time to pursue it. And I’ve come to the conclusion that the answer is a resounding no.

Right now is the time to focus on getting my freelance writing business going, paying down my debt and becoming more financially secure. I may have a job but I still live check to check and there is always at least one bill that goes unpaid every month. And that’s just not ok with me.

So my focus has shifted. Well, really, its become more clear. Its great to push yourself to the limit but I think I was trying to do too much. And truthfully, I feel much better having let go of one thing in order to focus on something that for me in far more important right now.

Have you ever had to let go of something you really wanted because the timing wasn’t right?

Tags: Getting Things Done, Goals, Letting Go, Planning, Recalibration, Timing

My life is dramatically different

I was thinking…

I’ve done all this talk about change, going through the cycles of feeling super productive and then not at all; taking big bold steps one day and the next being paralyzed with fear.

What I haven’t done this year is really take inventory of how different my life is from last year at this time.

At the end of February and heading into March 2009 I was still new on my job. Still feeling that small-fish-in-a-new-corporate-pond-but-damn-this-job-ROCKS feeling. I was also looking for a new place to live, somewhere closer to work and with good schools.

I was just starting to realize that my awesome first publishing job out of college with Know More Mediahad spoiled me and I had a lot to learn about working at a “real” magazine.* There were office politics and there were signs that Entrepreneur was being affected by the economic environment.

I was making new friends and yet still felt isolated. Most of the people I had connected with during my time at KMM were internet people and things changed as they do, making it difficult to keep up with people in time zones all over the world without practically being on a 24 hour clock.

In April, I would pick up my life and move from my home of nine years to find a new semi-temporary dwelling behind the orange curtain. Where I sought a better neighborhood suburbs, less diversity and realized that I really loved Long Beach.

That move would be my first leap into truly being on my own, with family and friends being considerably farther away. I began to feel isolated because I was so far from everyone, but I knew that the fresh start was what I needed. I wasn’t sure where I was heading next, but I knew this new place was not for the long haul. But I hung things and got comfortable anyway.

I began thinking about my health and thinking it was time to become more responsible with my finances. I started shifting away from eating take-out on a regular basis to cooking almost every meal I eat.

So much changed last year. I mean my life looks dramatically different now than it did last year at this time.

My hope is that I’ll be able to say the same thing next year.

Tags: Change, Goals, Introspection, Reflections

On productivity and weekend relaxation

Today I decided not to be lazy. I got up early for breakfast, sent off a couple emails I had been procrastinating on, spent some time polishing an essay I’ve been working on and then headed off to do laundry.

It’s still early.

So now I’m going to allow myself time to relax in this space. Feeling good about getting things done but not pushed to get much more done. Hey, weekends are made for relaxation. Or at least that’s the way I like them to be.

I often find myself asking if it’ll stay like this even when my business is booming. Will I have time to spend most of the day farting around the house or will I have my nose to the grindstone, working, working, working?

Truth is be told, I’m kinda lazy and I like having my weekends. So I’m thinking once I go freelance full-time, I’ll be able to find full blocks of time to just lay on my sofa, drinking cocktails, cuddling my boy and watching TV.

For now, I think its best I get my ass in gear.

Laziness doesn’t build an empire.

Tags: Goals, Productivity, Reflections, Work/Life Balance

And now here comes the fear

I’ve been making some moves. Where a couple weeks ago I was feeling like I hadn’t made enough progress and today I feel very different.

It’s not that I’ve made so much more progress than before, I’ve just been more active since making the plan. I’ve been consistent and it’s paying off with even the slightest increase in readership.

There’s one thing that’s scaring me though: the prospect of going to grad school. My boys are adamantly opposed, worried that I’ll forget about them. And I how could I? Mother’s who love, rarely do anything without thinking of how it will affect their children. So the protests of my children are not falling on deaf ears.

This process is the difference between choosing the safe and comfortable option versus pushing forward into radical life changes. Honestly, right now I want to regress and do whatever is easiest. I’m shitting myself thinking all I have to do is make the move and the universe will back me up.

But I refuse to be afraid of being great. I don’t want to live my life thinking what could have happened if I had only been brave enough.

I’m thinking the next week or so is going to be about beating the fear.

And beat it I shall.

Tags: Changing the Game, Fear of Flying, Goals, No Sandbacking, Self Sabotage

Woo hoo, consistency pays off

I don’t know why I’m so excited about it. Just seems like a big deal to me. Considering that I started this blog a year and a half ago and I’m just now hitting the 100 post mark seems…a little strange right now. I mean…what did I start this blog for if not to make use of it?

And it seems that making use is paying off. Not just in increased readership (hey you folks out there in cyber world!) but in the increased commitment to regular posting. Writing every day isn’t an obligation or a chore, I actually enjoy it! Read more…

Tags: 100 Posts, Benchmarks, Blogging, Goals, Writing

Learning to Manage the GAP

You may or may not have noticed that I’ve been feeling a little discouraged. Yesterday I posted an excerpt from the 10th anniversary edition of the Freedom Writer’s Diary as a reminder to myself of how far I’ve come.

So it was exactly what I needed when I saw this tweet from Carla Young:
Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams & reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so. – Belva Davis

What the heck am I talking about? Read more…

Tags: GAP, Getting Things Done, Goals, God's Area of Preparation

Oh no, not again…

It’s sad when you do nothing all day and you still forget to post a blog.

Yep, that’s what happened yesterday.

Well…not literally nothing, but it’s not like I was super busy and didn’t have time. I just…forgot. And you know what? I’m not going to beat myself up about it. The real goal is to write every day and that I didn’t forget. I’m also not giving up. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m still determined to get through this blasted 365 project.

I won’t call it a fail because I’ve posted more days than I haven’t, and I plan to keep it that way. I’d much rather post when I have something to say, but since the goal is to write every day and using this blog is a good way to keep myself accountable, I won’t use the I don’t have anything to say cop-out.

I’m sure there will be other missed days, but I’m going to keep on plugging along.

Who’s with me!

Tags: 365 Fail, 365 Project, Goals, Writing

I wrote my first business plan today!

That’s right! I took a good look at what I want to get done, what it’ll take to get there and made a quick list of goals. I even set deadlines for some and a schedule for others.

Funny thing is I’ve been telling myself for weeks it’s time for a plan but I haven’t taken the time to actually create anything concrete or measurable. I think part of that is fear that if I make a plan things become all the more real. I suppose that goes back to Carla Young’s 30 day game changer post about self sabotage and those things that scare the shit out of you. Read more…

Tags: 30 Days, Fear of Flying, Getting Things Done, Goals, Making a Plan, Shout Outs

The catch-22 of getting fit

Yeah, I know you’re supposed to consult your physician before starting any fitness regimen but what healthy person actually does that? And truthfully, these last few weeks, I’ve felt better than I have in a very long time. I’m positive its a result of healthier eating and regular exercise.

So you’re probably wondering what I’m going on about.

I started having pain in my lower back which got progressively worse until finally I decided to go to the doctor. When you have pain radiating across your lower back and shooting down your leg, your body is trying to tell you something Read more…

Tags: Catch-22, Fitness FAIL, Goals, Health/Fitness