Archive for October, 2010

Oct 27

The Boy talks to strangers, and it’s good for him


One of my favorite things about the Boy is that he’s super friendly. Always has been. He waves and smiles to strangers and makes friends quickly. I’m friendly, but definitely not as comfortable with new people as immediately as he is.

And I love watching and listening to his interactions. It’s also why its nice to be in a neighborhood where others also wave, smile and talk to strangers. His friendliness is welcome and people talk to him.

The other day we went to our favorite local indie cafe, Sweet Elle, and there was a younger kid there. As is his style the Boy just walked over and started treating the other kid like they were old friends. A few minutes later I saw him ruffle the kid’s hair. I cringed, concerned he had perhaps crossed the personal space boundary, but the kid just smiled and skipped off.

There’s another kid…a teenager really. I had seen him on the bus several times on his way to school. Sometimes he catches the same bus we do on our way home, and the Boy immediately took a liking to him. And the older boy is friendly, answers all the Boy’s questions with a smile and seems to genuinely enjoy the Boy’s temporary company.

Everywhere we go, the Boy is a social butterfly. I think he has his dad to thank for that, because he definitely didn’t get it from me.

Not that it matters though. It’s wonderful to see the excitement the Boy gets from meeting a new person. And he’s always been partial to chopping it up with dudes. Funny how at the age of two, I knew, the Boy was a man’s man. He’s a social butterfly and makes a habit of talking to strangers. You know what? It’s good for him.

He’s confident and resilient. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him bother anyone who didn’t seem open to being bothered and most of the time people are downright delighted by his inquisitive conversation. While I’m sometimes uncomfortable with his comfort with strangers, I usually resist the urge to interfere. Instead I watch and listen carefully while he learns a skill that will make him a success later in life.

And that, is definitely a good thing.

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Posted in My Life, The Boy

Oct 22

Help me become Nature Made’s Sam-e Complete “Good Mood Blogger”

I was looking around for freelance projects, as I tend to do, and saw a call for a “Good Mood Blogger.” The assignment, write one blog post per day, talking about my good mood. Ha! That’s easy! The not so easy part is getting votes — driving traffic to the site, campaigning to my network. If it were just a regular application, I’d be all confident that I could land the gig no problem. I’m more than qualified.

Getting into the top 20 is the goal for now. And so, dear readers, I need your help. Visit my profile on the Sam-E Complete site and vote for me every day until November 1st. Only one vote per IP address per day but you can vote from home, from work, from your smartphones, from your momma’s house…

You can go even further and ask your friends and family to vote for me to! I can totally rock this, with your support. :D

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Posted in Goal Setting

Oct 18

The Boy, the fall and the helpful stranger

I’m always reading about people and their kids being harassed by paranoid, busy-body, safety police at the Free-Range Kids blog. I even had a parent who lives close to The Boy’s school “report” me to the school admins because he showed up at 7 PM asking if their kid could come out to play (to which I responded incredulously: I told him he could go and we live around the corner. I can hear kids playing during recess, we live so close. And there was still sun.).

So, understandably, when I send the Boy out to the park, I worry sometimes that someone will see him and think he’s too young to be out there by himself. But the Boy has always been free-range and living in an upstairs unit in a quiet gated condo community, having parks within walking distance is a necessity for all parties involved. In fact, one of the first things we did when we moved into our new neighborhood was find the closest park and check it out together.

The closest is the school park, which the Boy generally finds boring. But just a little further away is a park with a community center, a skate park, and all sorts of things he can do. Best of all, there are lots of other kids for him to play with as well (with the only adults hanging around to watch the younger kids). He’s even made friends and always makes sure to have their parents call me if they’re concerned with his being out there without adult supervision.

Generally, we’ve learned that our neighborhood is fairly free-range friendly and the Boy goes back and forth from the community center park and home without a hitch. Except yesterday…

He fell and hurt himself on his way home from the park. I figured it was pretty bad because he called me from a stranger’s phone and asked me to come get him. After asking him if he was too injured to ride his scooter home and hearing the distress in his voice, I hopped in the car (rented for the weekend of errand running) and went to pick him up. There he was sitting in a booth by himself, waiting so patiently. When he saw me, he looked so relieved and thanked me for coming so quickly. He exaggerated a little limp and told me that his whole right side hurt from the fall. I could see a bit of evidence, but I decided not to press the issue that he could have totally made it home.

When I asked him whose phone he had used, he said that a lady saw him fall and asked if he needed any help. He asked if he could call his mom to pick him up. He said she didn’t ask about why he was out there alone or anything indicating any disapproval, just let him use her phone told him to wait for me and went on about her business.

And when I picked him up, no one was hovering. The whole situation made me proud of the Boy and my community.

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Posted in Parenting, The Boy

Oct 15

A tribute to my cousin, on his birthday

Today is my cousin’s birthday. He died a young man…too young. Survived by three children and a beautiful woman who has been raising those kids on her own since his death. It’s hard not to be sad when thinking about Jamar and his death. But instead of sadness, I want to pay tribute to the love we shared.

Jamar and I didn’t grow up together as you would expect cousins should. We spent a little time together as kids, but nothing I can really recall with clarity or regularity. But as I got older, I began feeling the need to connect and spend time with my cousins. So I called. And when I got a car, I would go visit at least once or twice a month; sometimes once or twice a week.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but these visits would lay the foundation for undoing the disengagement our parents had created. We enjoyed each other’s company and loved each other. We became friends and confidants. We became family.

Eventually he and his family moved to Los Vegas and we didn’t spend as much time together, but we never grew apart. Then, one day, I got a call. Jamar had over-dosed on drugs and had died.

So we dropped everything, and headed to Las Vegas to be together as a family, mourn his loss and celebrate his life.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had missed so much, that I hadn’t had enough time; that he was entirely too young. But I remembered the afternoons we had spent chatting and watching TV in his living room. The time I knocked over his beer and he joked “I beat my kids for less!” I realized that I was lucky. Despite the boundaries that had kept us apart as kids, we had developed a deep bond as adults.

Sometimes, when the program I created for his memorial falls out of my journal, I cry, wishing I had had more time. But all that matters is that he knew I loved him and that I knew he loved me. His loss brought the rest of us together. For all of these things, I am grateful.

So this is my tribute to my cousin Jamar. I really miss him.

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Posted in My Life, The Fam

Oct 13

Screw the logo, Gap lost its brand identity

It’s silly, I think, that so many are buzzing about the fail that was the new Gap logo. Personally, I could care less about the logo. And aside from the fact that the logo, SUCKED, I wonder, what difference it makes. When the Gap decided to jump on the lifestyle brand bandwagon 10 years ago, the brand lost its identity.

Let’s think about it. The Gap used to be the go-to place for wardrobe basics. Comfy sweaters and khaki cargos; bright colored scarfs and a line of jeans to rival Levi’s (I always preferred Gap jeans). While I still think Gap jeans are still very affordable and made to fit a wide range of body types, the quality is seriously lacking. And where, pray tell, are the cute Pea Coats with the colorful lining? Where are the Oscar worthy T’s and casual dresses meant to be lived in?

Perhaps the real reason the Gap is in trouble, has very little to do with what’s on the outside, and everything to do with what’s on the inside. No amount of logo changes will improve the quality of Gap jeans, which I remember lasting for years, but now I’d be surprised if they lasted ONE year. Sure tees for layering is great, but that doesn’t mean anyone wants to pay $25 for a T-shirt so thin its see through and deteriorate quickly in the wash.

I get it. Being the basics brand is a challenge because everyone wants to be a fashionista. Thing is, if you’re the last pillar of everything basic, while everyone else is trying to sell their lifestyle brands and runway knockoffs, you are the last place people can get (hopefully) durable, every day wear. If I need a suit, I’m going Banana Republic or Jones NY Co. But if I want a comfy cardigan, I want to go to the Gap and know that they’ll have one, and perhaps in a rainbow of colors. Or maybe a beautiful cable-knit sweater…

Good luck. Have you been into the Gap recently? Its pretty hard to find something so basic and so simple. So where do you go? Somewhere else. And when the jeans don’t hold up to snuff, you go somewhere else too. And then you’ve got Gap loyalists like myself jumping ship.

And they’re worried about their logo. Talk about screwed priorities.

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Posted in business, Opinion

Oct 10

Street Food Festival Saturday

As you can tell from my absence, I’ve been out doing stuff. Haven’t been back boogie boarding yet…I kinda gotta get a boogie board. But I’ve been out and about, living life instead of watching it pass me by.

So today I took The Boy to the Long Beach Street Food Festival where a bunch of gormet food trucks gathered for some hungry folks. I pre-paid and got there early. I wanted to go to yoga, but I also didn’t want to spend all day in line, instead of eating.

We arrived just as they started letting people in. I wanted to look around a little, but I could tell I needed to decide what I wanted to try before the lines got out of control. We started with Knock Out Taco. The blackened shrimp set my mouth on fire and the Con Carne was seasoned beautifully. I ordered Lumpia from the Manila Machine but the fryer wasn’t on yet, so I told them I’d be back and jumped in line for the Grilled Cheese Truck.

Aside from having to wait in line FOR AN HOUR, the grilled cheese was freaking fantastic. The boy and I both got Grilled Mac n’ Cheese; his with just the basics, mine fully loaded. I know it sounds crazy. I was skeptical too. But The Boy insisted that he wanted a Grilled Mac n’ Cheese. So thats what we had.

The lumpia from the Manila Machine was great to top of the savory before we moved on to the sweet. And the tropical shaved ice was the perfect refreshing desert on a hot afternoon.

The Boy really did enjoy that Grilled Mac n’ Cheese. And I enjoyed his company. A great time was had by all.

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Posted in My Life, The Boy

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