My first bus/bike to work day!

Today was my first bus/bike to work day and it was kinda AWESOME.

I found a route that didn’t require me to get a sitter in the morning; so the boy and I left the house at the same time. The school doesn’t allow scooters on campus, so until I get him his own bike (and yes, that will be soon), he has to hop on with me. He spent much of his ride going “Ooooh…watch out, watch out” because he was afraid I would hit something or “ouch!” because the crotch bar was hitting him in…well…the crotch (that is until he figured out to sit on his backpack). And since my bus stop is at the same corner I usually drop him off to walk to school, we just parted ways there.

I felt like an old pro in the morning. I confidently threw my bike on the rack, flashed the driver my pass and found a seat. I could have transferred but since my connection wasn’t supposed to arrive for 20 minutes, I hopped on my bike and got on my merry way.

The air was crisp, the traffic was light and alert and the sun was lovely. There were bike lines all the way from the connection stop to the office and I probably made it to the office before the bus ever arrived at the stop. I didn’t even break a sweat until I hit the major intersection just before the office corporate park (thank you yoga & pilates!).

At the end of the day, I walked out with a coworker who also takes the bus. He got on his route and mine arrived a few minutes later. And boy was I clumsy about the whole thing.

Maybe it was just the bus driver being helpful but he treated me like it was my first time riding the bus. I couldn’t get the bike rack down and once I got it down, I struggled to get my bike on. He actually got out of his seat to show me how to do it. When I got on the bus, he showed me that I had to activate and swipe my pass (why the other bus driver didn’t say anything, I’ll never know). As we got on the road, he informed me that if the bike rack was full, I’d either have to wait for another bus or lock my bike and leave it (which explains the occasional bike left at the bus stop). Neither sounded like agreeable options, but whatareyagonnado?

Exited the bus to find my stop caticorner to the bike shop but since the YMCA had a closing time, I decided it best to pick up the boy first. We headed over to the bike shop where I had the cruiser fitted with a basket and got myself a helmet. It’s a little dorky looking but better safe than sorry. Besides, its practice for when I get my motorcycle.

I was already tired when we left the bike shop but then it was time to make the ride home. It wasn’t that it was far (because it wasn’t), it was the helmet in the basket, the bumps hurting the boy’s testicles, my purse sliding off my arm and my skirt billowing behind me (oh shut up, I had on yoga pants under). We had to stop like four times to get adjusted but once we did, we had a fun and quick ride home.

The whole experience was great and when I do get my car, I’ll probably still use my bike a lot.

I <3 my new bike. I also love the fact that riding every day enables me to keep getting regular exercise while I get where I need to go.

I wonder if I’ll be saying the same thing at the end of the week.

Tags: bus/bike to work, epic, I did it, Work/Life Balance

Just another day, right?

After the car incident, I spent much of the weekend planning and making arrangements. I got a bicycle and a bus pass and I’ll be on public transpo until I save up for a decent used car (not one of those buckets I used to get that cost more money to keep running than it did to actually purchase).

But the boy has been sick the last couple days so I haven’t had time to put my plan into action. It’s a pretty solid plan though, so I’m not worried.

In fact, I’m a little excited. I know, I know. It’s weird. But I don’t have to deal with the stress of traffic and I’ll be able to read a book. Taking the bus means that I’ll be either walking or riding most places which also means I’ll be active.

Sure a car would be more convenient, but right now, I gotta do what I gotta do. So tonight, I made lunches and laid out clothes for tomorrow. For in the morning, all we’ll have time for is washing our faces, brushing our teeth, getting dressed and walking out the door.

Just another day, right?

Tags: FML, Just Trying to Stay Positive, Public Transpo Adventures, Shit Happens

Boy does this feel like failure

Today my car was repossessed.

There, I said it.

I feel it. I feel the judgment. I know you have questions.

Guess what. More than embarrassed about my car being repossessed, I’m embarrassed by the how and why.

Before the was Entrepreneur Media to call my employment home, there was Know More Media. It was the bestest job a fledgling college grad chomping at the bit for a publishing gig could ask for…But…as so many startups do, Know More Media went under and with its collapse, I was unemployed for 6 months. No savings, just a cheap apartment, a laptop and a car that got me around town.

With a note bigger than the rent on my cheap apartment.

And I missed a few payments.

When I finally did get a job, it was always about playing financial catchup. Nothing ever got paid on time and my checking account is almost always in the negative before the next pay check comes.

Sure my life is dramatically different: more money, reliable transportation, a great deal an a cute place, kid in a good school. Single mom living the life.

But sometimes getting bills paid is fucking hard.

And sometimes I have to make choices where neither option is desirable. Pay the electricity bill or the phone bill. Pay the rent or be evicted. Pay the cable/internet bill or put gas in my car. Pay the car note or get food.

These are the choices I face.

And I want to get to a place where I’m not scraping for the basics and ends still not meeting. I’ve been entertaining various ways to make that happen and honestly the only one that seems remotely appealing is working more. Busting my butt until I’m drawing from a steady stream of freelance projects to be in business. The kind of business that can provide a nice life for me and my kids.

So yeah, my car got repossessed. Shit happens. I’ll get over it and get another after I save the cash. I’ll start seeing what kind of support system I have out here, where I really feel like I’m isolated and alone (Not the big bad world silly, just in the new city. I’ve only been here a year). I’m really hoping one of the parents around here will let the boy hang out with their kid in the morning because I have to leave so early to get on the bus. Last resort, I’ll give him a key and teach him to get himself out of the house in the morning.

You do what you have to do right?

I’ll get all my ducks in a row this weekend and starting Monday, I’m on public transportation.

I’m really worried about how my grandmother will get her medicine until I have a car again.

Tags: Financial Messiness, FML, Money Problems, Shit Happens

A free-range scare…

Its important to me to allow the boy space to explore and go to his friend’s houses. Most of the time my allowing him a long leash works out pretty well for both of us. Unfortunately, there’s the occasional snaffu. Earlier this week, someone stole the boy’s scooter and tonight he was out well past dark and I started to worry.

Now, I wasn’t really worried someone would take him. Reading the Free-Range Kids Blog has taught me that such fear is rather irrational. But as the time ticked by and there was no sign of the boy, the irrational panic started to creep up on me anyway.

Shit, I thought, I only have two phone numbers and he at least four friends around the way. I was kind of uncomfortable about knocking on doors because, well, what if the other parents judged me for letting my kid roam around the neighborhood? Bed time was approaching at an alarming rate (probably because the boy was out WAY past dark) and I was starting to freak out. I called one friend, the one who was probably the least free-range, and of course, the boy wasn’t there because they didn’t allow visitors after 5 PM during the week. I had to try though.

As I started walking around the neighborhood, I realized that there were only two houses I knew for sure he might be. So I knocked on the other. There were two kids there who didn’t belong, neither of which was my boy. I went back home. There was no way I was just going to knock on random doors. To me, that meant panic and I was not going to panic.

I decided to walk around a little bit more trying to recognize some of the houses the boy had shown me. It was dark and I just couldn’t remember. I headed back to the house where his friends were (probably also well past curfew) to ask if they knew where the boy might be and just before I walked up to the door, I saw a little dark figure in an orange shirt across the street. So I called out.

“Um…” I said as he turned toward me. “Do you know how long it’s been dark?”

I walked up and introduced myself to the adult (and parent of the friend) standing outside with him.

“I asked him what his curfew was and he told me 9:00,” said the friend’s dad. “It sounded a little late to me, but we were about to have him call you and give him a ride home.”

I made sure to get the parent’s number and assured him that the boy was supposed to go home when it was dark. 8:30 was far too late, especially since it had been dark for more than an hour.

As the boy and I walked home, I chastised him about being out so late.

“But I was watching a movie,” he said.

“I don’t care. When are you supposed to come home?”

“When it’s dark.”

“It’s not that big a deal if you want to watch a movie and eat pizza,” I said. “But at the very least, you have to call me and let me know where you are.”

He took a bite of his pizza and acted like it wasn’t a big deal.

I stopped and made him look at me.

I explained that having the freedom to run around unsupervised was a big responsibility; one he shouldn’t take advantage of if he wanted to keep it. If he couldn’t be trusted to come home when he was supposed to come home, he’d be on lockdown indefinitely.

He raised an eyebrow at the idea of being “on lockdown.”

“That’s right,” I said. “If I can’t trust you, you can’t go anywhere.”

He hung his head and sighed. Then he looked up at me and said, “Ok, mommy. I’m sorry. I’ll be more responsible next time.”

We hugged it out and I made him go to bed early.

Tags: Free-Range, Freedom & Responsibility, Teachable Moments, Teaching Responsibility

There are assholes everywhere

A year ago I decided it was time to move. There had been two “shoot outs” in as many weeks, both of which involved my immediate neighbor. I had lived in that place for 9 years and while it wasn’t what I would consider an affluent neighborhood, it certainly wasn’t as bad as some of the neighborhoods in LA.

There were lots of kids, all of whom were pretty much given free reign to play anywhere in the complex. If any of them tried to venture out (as I’m sure some did), there were security guards at the gates to stop them.

But with two shoot outs and an impending rent increase, I decided it was time for me to go and set out to find a place between Long Beach and Irvine where I worked. I ended up finding this cute little place in Orange where there were lots of kids and families. It was a little suburban for my taste, but the school was good and my commute to work would be cut in half.

And I like the neighborhood for the most part. It’s been good so far. I had even gotten more comfortable with giving the boy a longer leash and letting him ride his scooter around, as long as he stayed away from the main road. He had made friends and knew to come in when it was dark.

Today though, things were terribly sullied.

The boy went out to ride his scooter as he often did when there was still light when we got home for the day. It was starting to get dark and I was watching the door for the boy to come bursting in. And he did…but without his scooter.

“Where’s your scooter?” I asked expecting him to tell me he had forgotten it at a friend’s house again.

“Someone took it,” he said.

“WHAT?!?” I was in shock.

“A kid just walked up and took it from me.”

“What kid? Do you know him? Have you seen him before?”

“I’ve seen him once, but I don’t know him.”

As I questioned him, the boy’s shoulders begin to slump and I could tell he was seriously hurt. Not physically mind you…but you know…someone had taken his shit right out of his hands!

“What happened?” I asked. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

He told me how he was riding past one of his friend’s houses and this kid he didn’t really recognize came up behind him, punched him and told him, “Gimme your scooter bitch.”

“I tried to chase him and get it back but he was on my scooter and I ran out of breath.”

I couldn’t believe it.

That’s the kind of story you expect to hear when you live in the hood not when you’re in what you thought was a safe suburban family cul-de-sac. I sat there in shock for a few minutes before telling him I was sorry he had to go through that.

And he broke down.

“It really, really sucks,” he sobbed. “I really liked that scooter.”

I held him close, told him I knew and assured him he would get another.

“Just like that one?”

“I can’t promise you that honey.”

“But that was my favorite scooter ever.”

“I know honey, I know.”
Fuck. There are assholes everywhere.

Tags: Assholes, Crimes, mean kids, welcome to the 'burbs

It’s all connected

My first job out of college was with one of those early online publishers. I was skeptical at first when I was interviewed by this guy who for all of his professionalism was wearing jeans and had exposed tattoos. The interview was great and two days later I was offered the gig. I had never worked for a startup before and had been applying for PR gigs.

When I saw the ad for Know More Media, an online publisher of business news and information, I thought, hey…what the hell. I’ll either get it or not. I had never heard of this publisher but telecommuting sounded like a winner to me.

Everyone I told about the job was just as skeptical as I was. They’d raise their eyebrows and ask, “Online publisher?” At the time, the idea of a blog network that wasn’t a personal blog was still a new concept. And when my first paycheck was late, I had red flags all over the place. Turns out, the late paycheck was my fault because I had provided the wrong checking account information and being an editor at Know More Media became one of my favorite jobs ever.

The day I found out that the company was going under, was a very sad day indeed. But it left me with great professional experience and great friends. I still look back on my KMM days affectionately, have lunch with the guys from time to time and find ways to work with some of the authors who were also part of that great publishing experiment.

And this morning I was offered an opportunity to work with one of my former bosses; a semi-silent KMM partner who has always been very kind to me. I’m excited and encouraged by his confidence in my skills. I also know that this is one of many gigs that will launch my business.

I’ll forever be grateful for the experience and relationships that came out of my time at Know More Media. It prepared me for the rest of my career in the publishing industry as an editor and gatekeeper.

Tags: Business, Experience, Friendships, Goals, Know More Media, Reflections