Some days it seems like life leads you along. You don’t need to know where you’re going because the path finds you and all you have to do is walk it.
Other days, the way isn’t quite as clear. You know there are things you should be doing but you’re either too unfocused or too scared to get anything done. You flounder in uncertainty and paralysis.
Today is one of those days. Ironic considering that yesterday I wrote about how productive this month was. Thing is, that this was a very unproductive weekend, spent mostly catching up on Lost and taking long naps.
I don’t get the chance to veg out often, so when I do, its definitely a luxury these days. Still, the lazy days feel like stolen time. Time I should be using to get something done instead of loafing about.
At least I’ll go to work well rested tomorrow.
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can’t help it the road just rolls out behind me
– Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine
Wow, this has been quite a productive month and start to a new year.
Still hanging in there with the 30 Days change series with Sarah Robinson of Escaping Mediocrity (though I haven’t been as engaged as I probably should be) and working out multiple times a week. My life hasn’t changed dramatically, but it’s a process and I’m working it.
Not that I have an official plan or anything. Just a skeleton outline of what I want to get done this year and what it’ll take to get there. I’m proud to say that some of my goals are already under way and I feel great.
The thing is that I’ve been itching for change. I knew that my transformation was not–is not–complete. My vision is not fulfilled and I have a long way to go before it is. But I love the feeling that I’m on the right path.
Man, this 365 thing is really tough. I’ve already missed two days, both times because I simply forgot to post something. Almost did the same thing tonight except I woke up so I could write something for this blog.
Is that really what I want? Is this 365 blogging project worth waking up in the middle of the night just to write about how I woke up in the middle of the night because I almost forgot to write and post?
Like I said. It’s tough.
Probably better to find something throughout the day that really inspired me or made me think. Better to find something throughout the day worth writing about. Maybe that way, I won’t forget and I won’t just ramble on in circles and things will be more interesting.
Tomorrow is another day.
Miami was great, it really was. The trip home seemed extra long. No worries though, I made it safely. As we descended on the airport, I spied the crowded 405 freeway, which I’ve never been happier to see. It was a beautiful parking lot of a freeway to behold.
I’m home now, sitting on my bed, warming up some chili and listening to the wonderful sound of the boy playing video games.
Man, its good to be home.
Beautiful city, great company what more can you ask for? It was busy for sure. Running around “live blogging” the event, making sure speakers had everything they needed…it was great.
Highlights: I met Susan Gunelius who I’ve known and worked with for nearly five years but met in person for the first time today. Having a friend from Twitter send someone on a search for me to give me a hug. Having drinks with other editors and getting to know each other. Meeting Bob Reiss, a beloved guest expert. Meeting Tim Berry, sweet columnist extraordinaire.
I must say that attending a conference three time zones away was much more fun than attending and sitting in a room with my leg propped on a chair (stupid bum knee). This year, I was in good health and even better spirits.
It was a rockin’ conference and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Tomorrow, I travel back to SoCal. The hotel bed is unbelievably comfortable, but somehow, I think I’ll be happy to sleep in my own bed.
Last night I forgot to blog, mostly because I was watching lost but also because I was so worried about preparing to travel today. I’ve decided I’m not going to beat myself up about it though, the point is to be mindful of the need to write every day and so far I’ve been much more mindful in the last month than I was most of last year.
So I’m in Miami! Miami Beach to be specific (apparently they are two different cities). As much as I dislike the airport and getting stuck sitting in the middle and the smell of travel sticking to me, it’s worth it to be in a new place and spend time getting to know my co-workers, hanging with my friends (who are also co-workers).
It’s a lovely city with lots of diversity, beautiful beaches and palm trees everywhere. These palms are a different type than those in SoCal. And can you believe it was colder in Cali than in Miami Beach? I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised but I was a little. We walked on the beach at 9:00pm and it was warm enough that we didn’t really need jackets.
The hotel is cute and historic. I thought the room was a little small at first then I thought to myself, what more do I need? There’s an amazingly comfortable King-sized bed, a desk, wireless internet a television a cute little bathroom, a walk-in closet and a city view.
Tomorrow we do the conference and supposedly there will be a mojito train. Maybe I’ll go for a ride.
Up early for yoga. I even let the boy try the class. I think 30 minutes is good for a 7-year-old. Even the instructor had to admit it had been a tough class. But we all left feeling stronger and energized.
I invited a friend over for breakfast and went home to whip it up. Potatoes, bacon, sausage and eggs. It was goooooood. After my friend left I settled in to watch “Lost” but it ended up watching me. A few hours later, my friend hit me up again, inviting me over for a swim (I love how just last week it was pouring and we were actually having weather in California. But today it was sunny, blue skies and warm enough for a night swim). So I went over. And swam a 500.
It’s nice to have a friend close to work out with and just swim in her pool. Afterward, we sat and talked in the jacuzzi.
Here’s the thing. I went from nothing to three or four-times a week exercising. And I love it! I know once my two months are up, I’ll probably work out fewer days a week but I’m going to use this time like hell week when I used to swim. We’d work really hard the first couple weeks and then we’d get into our routine.
I also remember feeling like I didn’t have any friends. Now, I’m starting to accept that I enjoy being active and I like being social.
I almost feel guilty saying that. But it’s how I feel and I want to own it.
Oh. Next week I’ll be blogging from Miami Beach for Entrepreneur’s Growth 2.0 conference. Last year’s conference went down as one of the hardest days of my life this year there is the promise of fun, adventure and mischief.
Life is good.
But today all I could do was think about how cute he was. I even laughed at his silly jokes; some of which were directed at me. Yeah, the boy is a cute, smart, funny kid.
And I think I’ll keep him
I’m sure most ambitious people have lots of ideas and interests. Some decide to settle. Others try to be a jack of all trades. But the most successful are those who find their passion and focus.
This is what I need to do. Find my focus.
For most of my life, I’ve shared my story in open commiseration and catharsis. I’ve exposed deeply personal bits of myself to people with the hope of inspiring them with what I’ve overcome.
It seems narcissistic when I write it here, but that’s what being a Freedom Writer was about. Everyone has a story, something they’ve overcome, choices they’ve made, lessons they’ve learned.
So maybe that’s where I am right now. Sharing my story.
I didn’t feel like cooking today. I was kind of craving chili, but since I was hungry when I went into the store, I forgot all about that.
What I did end up getting made for a delicious home made pizza…maybe more like a tasty, pizza-like, cheesy facacia bread thingy. It only took 10 minutes and the boy kept going on and on about how he couldn’t believe how good it was (actually he said it every time he took a bite and pretended he was in a commercial for some great pizza!).
Cut Facacia down the center so you have a top and a bottom. Layer other ingredients on top bread. Put in toaster-oven (or oven) for 8-10 minutes or until everything just starts to burn on the edges.
Cut into slices and voila!
I can’t believe how good that was.